Posted by Cathy Gowdy on Saturday, January 26, 2013 at 07:08:16 :
Marin Independent Journal
Friday, September 14, 2001
SHIFFMAN, Gladys Morrissey 93, of San Rafael passed away September 11, 2001. Mt. Tamalpais Cemetery-Mortuary, San Rafael, 415-459-2500.
Gladys Morrissey Shiffman
Just three months short of her 94th birthday, Gladys Morrissey Shiffman passed on 11 Sept 2001 in San Rafael California. A loving and protective Mother to Carol Ralph of Terra Linda and Michael Shiffman of Mill Valley, Gladys was born in New York in 1907, raised in New Jersey and moved to San Rafael in 1972 with her husband Albert, who predeceased her in 1991. She is also survived by her grandchildren Daniel Shiffman and Rachel Raphael as well as Jodi Ralph Perrigo. She will also be missed by her great grandchildren, Lindsey and Garrett Perrigo. Her sweetness and affection will always be remembered. May she rest in Peace. For Grandma, September 13, 2001
Many years ago, when I was a teenager, I thought that Grandma would be a great character for a short story. Of course, her orange orb of a hairdo would play a major role in her character development. How could it not? It defined her in so many ways.
Orange stands for optimism and cheeriness, two qualities I always loved in Grandma. Despite her worrywart personality, she was ultimately an upbeat person filled with her own quirky truisms. We all heard "What will be will be, darlin'," as well as "As long as you're enjoyin' yourself, that's what matters." And that is what matters. Most likely, none of us ever thought of Grandma as a sage, but through her years, she developed a handful of Zennisms that attested to her wisdom.
Orange also stands for warmth, something Grandma had a tremendous amount of. Although regular visits to the hairdresser left her with somewhat irregular results--I never knew so many shades of orange existed--Grandma's heart burned a consistent hue of glowing warmth. Whenever she asked me, "What's doin', darlin?" she was really saying, "Tell me what's going on. I love to hear about your life because I love you so much." While we all aspire to the challenge of offering unconditional love to those around us, we all know how hard that challenge can be. But it wasn't for Grandma. She just was that way. She was warm, open-hearted, and knew no other way to love than with an unconditional heart.
Orange is bold, self-assured, and childlike. When Grandma threw a dinner party, she rarely made it to the table until the meal was over. Why? Because she did what she wanted to do. She had pressing needs to attend to, like wiping the countertops clean and putting away Ritz cracker appetizers. Despite the pressure of us yelling at her the entire meal--"Grandma! Mom! Glad! Will you please sit down?--she nonetheless stayed in the kitchen because it made her happy. In her own mild-mannered way, she was sure of what she wanted.
I don't think any of us ever thought of Grandma as trying to be a certain way…she just was who she was. Like a child, she was pure, sweet, and innocent.
Last April was the last time I saw Grandma, and I'm sorry for that. I wish I had had hours and days with her during the last few months. I would have told her stories about my life…stories about Matt, about our dog Abby, about how hard we work, and how hard and wonderful life is. I can hear her now saying, "Go on. Go on, darling," with that content smile and faraway eye-sparkle. And I would have gone on because Grandma lived for our stories. She loved it when we shared, and she made no secret of that. When it comes down to it, I think Grandma knew how to love better than any of us…and she loved us all more than we will ever know.
This was not the short story I had planned to write years ago. In that story, Grandma was alive. She applied lipstick, vacuumed green carpet, and served poundcake with Swensen's ice cream. She was alive. I don't think I ever really thought that Grandma would leave me because Grandmas are always around. They are constants, anchors in an everchanging world.
But Grandma is gone and I miss her so badly right now. Thank you for your smiling eyes and open ears. We will miss you forever. Rachel Shiffman Raphael.
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